Wednesday, 18 May, 2011

Dating Rules for Men

Dating Rules for Men

Dating Rules

Don't be Desperate

Most men tend to misunderstand that dating is a rigid concept for which they've to seek some prior permission or appointments from the girl they want to go out with. And so they relentlessly pursue her, asking for a date, as if it is the question of life and death. No matter how many times they've to listen "no's" or "I'm busy", they take it as a sign to "try harder" and this categorizes the request into much negative category, that is of desperation. One of the most crucial dating rules for men is not to ask her to come out with you, many times. Once or twice is enough to give her a hint, if she is interested.

Guys, if a girl is interested in you, even 0.9999...%, she will eventually reciprocate your request within two - three requests. And that is where actual dating comes into play. You needn't be desperate as that annoys girls especially if she is least interested in you. And ask her to go for a movie or a cup of coffee. Don't be dumb and ask plainly, "can we meet" or "I want to talk something". If you ask her correctly, there are better chances of your request being accepted.

Take the Initiative
You like the girl. You've asked her to come out with you. You're interested in her (maybe she is also). So as a part of your 'dating ethics', you should be the one who must take some extra effort and plan your date perfectly. This will reflect that you're caring and concerned as well as you're seemingly optimistic about taking it forward. So when you both meet, don't just ask where she wants to go or what she wants to do on the date (duh! killer question, ending all further 'date dreams').

Instead, if you have some clue about her interests areas or what she likes most, then be creative and come up with interesting ideas. The date should be fun and interesting for her. If you've planned to visit a restaurant, make prior arrangements for seats and order at least two meals, as a choice for her. She'll love the gesture and appreciate your concern. And not necessary you've to take her to a damn expensive restaurant. Do what you can live with! That would be more appreciated by an understanding lady.

Stick to the Basics

First impressions do last especially with your personal appearance and with dating rules and etiquette, so ensure you dress smartly. Now being smart often tends to be mistaken for being over-smart and eventually you may look stupid. Simplicity is always a smart choice and so dress in what you're comfortable. Personal hygiene conveys a lot about you. Table manners undoubtedly reflect your awareness about socialization skills. Most importantly, be humble. If you're in a restaurant, treat the waiter well. Don't present yourself as a very dominating or intolerant guy. Use all good manners you've learned as they are necessary to make her feel, you are grown up. Don't show her that male chivalry is archaic and obsolete. It is so much in existence, so much evolved. Ensure her safety, open the door for her, pay the bills, offer her your jacket if she feels cold or show concern with various other small gestures.

Listen to Her
If I say to you to never ever skip any one of the dating rules for men, I would choose this one. Women love to be listened. So listen to her when she is talking to you. Maintain an eye to eye contact while talking to her. Don't just 'hear' to what she is saying, 'listen' to her. This creates a bridge between you and her. You will understand her much better. What else do you wish to do on a first, second or a third date? So try to know her as much as possible. And if you really like the woman, you will, for sure listen.

Don't Over-communicate

Ok, your father owns the most expensive series of cars or you're the basketball champion of your college. Good job. But then don't brag about something that is definitely not too logical for a date. Blessed with amazing intuitive power, women will easily figure out you are bragging. Don't get too much into your family/friends or her family/friends just on the initial dates. It's appreciable to talk and know about your love interests acquaintances, but at least know her first properly. There is a way of talking everything and even if you talk about your life, or precisely, past life, maintain balance. Leave something to talk for the next dates! 

Compliment Her

Who doesn't love compliments? However, fake compliments are equally harmful, so be honest. Whether you're saying, "you've an awesome dressing sense" or "you look beautiful in that particular dress" ensure your heart agrees to it. Compliments, when they spring from the fountain of heart, showers the other person with the feeling of being acknowledged and appreciated. So be genuine in complimenting. Don't be superficial. Tell her what you feel you like about her views and achievements etc. Don't hesitate in complementing, it is worst to think and not to say. Go and tell her, politely.

What About Sex

It does not require some amazing level of comprehension ability to understand that sex is not a topic to be pushed on initial dates. Why do you want to mess your beautiful date by including a topic that must stem after some comfort in your understanding levels? It radiates a negative vibe that you're not really into the girl and you are the poorest prospect for a long term relationship.Do I need to explain more? Understand friends, it's too heavy to push sex initially, so avoid it. Yeah! Avoid it.

Make Her Feel Special

This sums up all the dating rules for guys. Every effort, every gesture and steps that you've taken to impress her must be focused with the objective of making her feel special. That is the most basic desire we all have, at some point of time in our lives, to be very special for that special someone. So be original, be honest, be creative and ultimately she will understand what you wish to convey. Though still she may want you to say it, women you know, have their own logic. They need everything to be said, right into their ears. They know everything, yet they want to hear!

Second Date Rules for Men
Choose an Interesting Place!
All women like to be wooed and how! So, choose the meeting place very carefully. A romantic set-up such as a candlelight dinner date at an open air restaurant or a road trip (if the girl is sporty and adventurous) are some of the interesting options you can look into.DO NOT take the girl to a sporting event or a boring place like a museum. Choose a unique place for your second date! The more pains you take in arranging the date, the more your girl will be interested!

Do Not Get Physical!
If you are looking for a long term relationship, avoid getting physical with the girl. Off course, mild flirting, sharing jokes and holding hands is allowed! However, beyond this, talking dirty or kissing, even if you desperately want to, should be avoided!

Woo Her!

All women love to be flattered! So, praise her beauty, her dress, her smile, her laugh and everything under the sun! Most importantly, sound extremely genuine! Believe me, no woman can ever resist admiration and that too from the man she likes (yes, she does like you! She agreed for the second date, didn't she?)

Be Chivalrous and Caring!
I know it is the time of women liberation! Still, most women want the men they are dating to be sensitive and caring towards them. So, open doors for her, pull the chair for her, pick her up and drop her back after the date. Make her feel that she is very important to you and that you care for her well being. And very soon, you will be rewarded!

Third Date TipsLet's start with dissecting the third date rule. Some people are of the opinion that the third date rule actually determines whether the relationship has a future or not. In other words, if the sexual relationship does not begin on the third date, the relationship is doomed. According to this concept, the first date is about getting to know each other and trying to figure out whether there is any chemistry. The second date is about having fun together by undertaking some activity which both can enjoy and the third date is when the two get physically intimate.
When it comes to taking to the next level i.e. initiating a physical relationship, it is not the number of dates that matter, it is the depth of feelings that you have for one another, which should determine whether you are ready for sex or not. Feelings, just like any other human emotion, take time to develop. Some people share an amazing chemistry very early on in a relationship while others may take months! So, whether you have sex on the third date or the seventh date or after months of dating, should actually depend upon how you feel about the whole relationship.

These third date tips apply for those who are willing to wait and are looking for a long term relationship. Forgoing the third date rule will also save you a lot of heart ache. Sometimes getting involved in a sexual relationship, without understanding the person you are dating, may backfire with both the partners realizing that they are not actually meant for each other. If this happens, being involved in a sexual relationship can sometimes complicate the situation even more. So, one of the important dating tips for 3rd date is that it is always better to wait for the right time, when both the partners are sure of their feelings and are ready for a commitment, before taking the plunge into a sexual relationship.

Of course, for those who are looking for some kind of sexual experimentation and adventure, who are looking for a casual fling, following the third date rule in singles dating is perfectly fine. As you are not looking for a committed relationship and are only in it for sex, whether you have any emotional attachment with the other person or not, is completely irrelevant. So, if you end up having sex on the third date or even the first or second date, it is of no consequence.

In the end, all said and done, every relationship is different. The people - men and the women involved in relationships are different too. As people are different, circumstances are different, so logically how can one third date rule apply universally? Thus, it can be rightly said that irrespective of what the relationship forums or dating sites or articles on relationships say, do not simply follow such dating rules blindly, especially if you are a woman. Think, introspect, look into your heart, analyze your feelings and then decide whether you are ready for sex or not!

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